I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
