Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
