its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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