just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
