it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
