I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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