I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
