dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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