does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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