hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
