you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
