No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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