Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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