LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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