just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
