he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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