Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
