maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
