at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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