then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
