a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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