She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
