There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
