I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
