Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just puked most of my soul out..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
