Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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