Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
