sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
