I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize