Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
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