There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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