Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
