They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize