Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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