This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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