I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
