Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize