We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
