he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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