That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize