hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
