I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
