R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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