You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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