He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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