I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
