yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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