You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
