I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize