hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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