I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Come see our sink grown plant.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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