she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
