i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
