GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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