It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
