so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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