Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
