and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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