he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
