I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
