Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
