ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
