You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
