Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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