I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
